Drifting In and Out of Conciousness

Drifting In and Out of Consciousness

By Alex Whelan

What the hell is he doing? Does he even know? He is swerving an awful lot…so this is my fate…wrecked, because my driver cannot stay awake? It hurts most to know that your fate is controlled, by something you cannot control…it hurts worse than I thought…but at least now it is fadingg…

Drifting in and out of consciousness…STAY ON THE ROAD!…HEY STAY ON THE ROAD (turns A/C on high)…(jerks steering wheel to the left) FUCK!…(jerks wheel too hard to the left) I (read) AM (this) GOING (s l o w l y) TO (for) DIE (effect)…slow motion…FAST MOTION! Everything is b r ko ne.

LOUD NOISE(1) more sleep needed—drift amongst the thoughts of my subconsciousness…if you think you will survive….LOUD NOISE(2)…Alex you need to get up (this is the voice of my then future ex-wife, and current ex-girlfriend—in the words of Taylor Swift, we are never, ever, getting back together)…my mind wants to tell her to fuck off; however, I sort of loved her in a sick and twisted, weird way at the time…so I did not do so (if I had known later she would drink herself into the arms of my best friend while I slept, I would have stabbed her instead and this story might be quite different…)

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I am the one who protected him. I protect all of humankind. I am the alpha and the omega.

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HEY, DO ME A FAVOR RIGHT NOW!

STAND ^.

NOW.

RUN IN PLACE FOR A MINUTE

SERIOUSLY RUN IN PLACE FOR A WHOLE MINUTE

(3 MINUTES IF YOU ARE A SEASONED RUNNER)…

60 SECONDS LATER YOU ARE NOW READING THIS

HOPEFULLY YOUR HEART RATE ACCELERATED

…IF NOT RUN UNTIL IT DOES

(feel free to play some elevator music in your head here to kill the time) NOW YOUR HEART IS POUNDING OUT OF YOUR CHEST. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW YOU WOULD FEEL IF YOU HAD BEEN SPRINTING FROM A LION THE ENTIRE TIME? (No do not lie you would have run faster, much faster) BUT IF YOU COULD IMAGINE THAT, YOU WOULD KNOW HOW I FELT STARING AT THE PLACE A DOOR HANDLE SHOULD HAVE BEEN, FROM THE BACK OF A COP CAR.

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Have you ever been suspended in time…

Simply floating…

Things s l o w down…

Lights e xp lo d e…

Colors die…

Somewhere life is ending…

Elsewhere it begins…

While—

You simply hang…

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The alpha and the omega? No, you are not, because you do not exist—

Do you?

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What the hell just happened…

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Are you guys enjoying the story still? I sure hope you are, because I am exposing my deepest soul and thoughts…this is truly how my mind works…please just understand…

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Breathe in…breathe out…breathe in…breathe out…breathe…heart rate

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I’m alive, right? Of course I am there I can still feel pain, right? (pinch yourself, as I did, to make sure you are still alive and not entering into literary paradise)Yea I am still alive…but at the moment I am not sure how good of a thing that is…check your surroundings you idiot…shattered glass…surrounded by pine trees…what the…Hell the pine trees were on the other side of the road…oh well that makes sense I guess…swerve and you will end up on the other side…but I did not end up on the other side…I am still on this Earth…somebody must be trying to send me a message…or is there a somebody to send that message…?....call someone to come get you genius (read the preceding word with intense sarcasm, if you did not do so the first time go back and do so, please) how convenient, my phone was eviscerated when it hit the dashboard at sixty miles an hour…thanks a lot Inertia…what was that law from Freshman physics class…an object in motion tends to stay in motion and an object at rest tends to stay at rest…thanks Newton…well screw the tending to stay at rest part…I guess I will have to walk to find help…

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Is that a person, over there? Why the hell is he waving at me…must be trying to hitchhike…lazy shit needs to get a job.

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It is five in the morning, why is he walking? Probably out all night doing God knows what…what a shame.

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A person, and he is limping…I really should stop…but he could be dangerous…I guess there is only one way to find out…

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Holy shit she is gonna try and help me…it is a damn miracle…

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“Oh my gosh, thank you for stopping!”

“What do you want?”

“Is there any way I can use your phone, I was just in an accident—”

“Have you been drinking?”

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Are you fucking kidding me, NO!

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“No ma’am, I just lost control.”

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At this point, get out your phone and have someone else close to you put his/her phone on loud, and then have him/her pretend to sleep…call him/her and let it ring until voicemail starts…make sure he/she does not wake up, because neither did my then future ex-wife and now current ex-girlfriend. Thanks a lot.

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“Thanks ma’am, may God bless you. I suppose I will keep walking…have a great day.”

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Seriously why am I surrounded by a myriad of lights…really do I deserve this crap…well at least I am still alive, right…?

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(insert end-of-story moral of your choice below)

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END CREDITS

BRAIN: ALEX’S BRAIN

ACTIONS: YOU

NARRATOR: ALSO YOU

RANDOM SEMI-NICE PASSER-BY: UNKNOWN, FOREVER

CONGRATUALTIONS! YOU, YES YOU, PLAYED HALF OF THE PARTS IN THIS PIECE OF WRITING (IT IS NOT A PLAY, SERIOUSLY)

IF THIS PIECE HAD A CLOSING SONG IT WOULD BE, “AM I A PYSCHO,” BY TECH N9NE…FEEL FREE TO LOOK IT UP, I AM SICK OF FINDING ALL THE HYPERLINKS FOR YOU.

goodbye, or is it—god?